After 25 years working for Big Brothers Big Sisters, Cindy Schreiber has a collection of stories that inspire her and those she tells them to.
“I remember there was a little boy who lived in an apartment downtown and he got matched with this guy who lived out in the country,” she recalls. “Before he was here, the little boy lived in like New Jersey and New York. It was always big city and he had never been out, and the best part of being matched was going out to his Big’s and cleaning out the barn and riding the lawnmower, all those things, and it was just so fun to watch.”
Schreiber has worked for BBBS of Northeast Indiana longer than she hasn’t, and she’s just as invested in the relationships she helps build as a Match Support Specialist as the Bigs and Littles.
“There was another boy who lived with his mom who wasn’t real good with finances, by the time he was 10, he had bad credit because she’d used his name for things already. He was matched with a volunteer who was very consistent with him. When this kid was in middle school, I took him to a camp one week, and when I picked him up he cried all the way home because it was such a great experience for him. He made all these friends and he wanted to go back. I never forgot that.”
In fact, the boy eventually graduated from college and the Big was in his wedding.
Stories like these are what drive Schreiber, hoping she’s going to hear the next great one today or tomorrow because she knows they are out there. That’s what keeps the job fun, too.
When Schreiber graduated from Ball State in 1995, she wanted a job working with kids that was someplace positive. She was living in her hometown of Decatur that fall when a college friend was leaving BBBS for a job in Colorado. Schreiber got the part-time position working in Adams County, and then Adams and Wells counties and then Adams, Wells and Allen, going from part-time to full-time within a year.
“The best part of it is talking to the kids and hearing their excitement or talking to the Bigs when they say they `didn’t think they were going to get anything out of it, but I’ve gotten so much more than what I thought I would,’ ” she said. “Then there’s that little light bulb that goes off and you can see the movement and the change, because it doesn’t happen all at once, it happens over time.”
Everyone’s stories are different, she said. Everybody’s background is different so challenges that might come up are a little bit different. As the team lead of those who are matched for a year or less, it’s her job to help them work into a stable relationship.
Consistency is always key, she said.
“Whatever we can do to help the match remain consistent is going to make the biggest impact, create the bond quicker,” she said.
Because she’s been in the middle so long, Schreiber knows all the resources BBBS can offer Bigs as they invest in their matches. She’s got all the stories, all the things to try all the experience of what worked in the past to encourage both sides of a match.
“I think the biggest thing that I value about Cindy is her passion for the agency and all of the people that she interacts with,” Jassmine Moreno said. “Starting at BBBS 3 years ago I took over a caseload that was hers for several years and it was evident that when talking with the matches and even the schools that they saw the passion she had for the program and valued the relationships that she was creating.”
Shreiber has never written all her stories down because, she said, there are too many, but she’s developed a second instinct on what will probably work with each relationship. She’s part psychologist, social worker, teacher, parent, counselor and sometimes even bus driver. She’s always a full-time friend.
“Cindy is a wealth of knowledge that is evident in interactions with our families and volunteers,” said Program Director Nicole Penar. “She always goes out of her way for our matches, whether it’s staying late every night or working on the weekends. She does what needs to be done and never complains.”
She’s always available as a resource and an example to the local staff.
Schreiber said it took her 22 years to quit overthinking every match and trusting her gut. It helped that she was a mom who’d been through some things the parents of Littles were going through, and she also understood the trepidation of Bigs who were worried about doing the wrong things. She’s fantastic at making everyone feel comfortable. She knows all the inside secrets.
“Everybody has something to offer, and with these kids, you are not there to fix or change them, you’re there to add value,” she said. “You can’t change their situation always. They are not a project that you fix, they are somebody you walk side-by-side with.”
No, it doesn’t have to be perfect, either, because there’s no way it can be, especially early on. As she said, look at a match as more of a preventative measure than an intervention.
And another:
“Be patient, it really does take about a year to get to where you are beyond the surface level and close so the kids trust you. Not because you are not trustworthy, just because they aren’t used to grownups.”
And the biggest one is, you’re going to get more back than you put into it. That’s sort of how Schreiber views her job, too.
“It’s just as rewarding if not more now,” Schreiber said. That’s why I like being here, because it’s positive. It’s just the fact that I feel lucky or blessed that this is something I can do. It’s just my job, but it’s working with people in a positive way. Even when things don’t always work out or kids are struggling, you know kids are going to get through it.”
And that’s when the best stories come out, the ones that cause her to pause and say, “OK, God, I needed that, thank you.”
“Or you come across a story about a Big who has been waiting a while or a child who has been waiting for a Big, and you match them up and it’s like, `This is why you’ve been waiting, this is the right one for you.’”
Just like the one she heard last week.
“I have a brand new match and they went on their first outing,” she said. “The Little went to the Big Sister’s house to make cookies, and the Little said, `It felt like home in her house.’ That’s so sweet.”
If you’d like to find out more about being involved with Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northeast Indiana as a potential Big, volunteer or donor, call 260-456-1600 or go to bbbsnei.org.