Big Brother Allen & Little Brother Zane
Meet Big Brother Allen and Little Brother Zane who have been matched for 8 years now!
Big Brother Allen and Little Brother Zane first met in 2017 through our Site-Based School Buddies Program and have been matched ever since.
Starting School Buddies
Before signing up with Big Brothers Big Sisters, Allen was already active in his community, working with kids in various ways. But after two people recommended School Buddies to him, he felt a “strong pull” to give back to his community in that way.
“I thought School Buddies was a good way to ease into the volunteering. I liked that it was during work and the day because I didn’t have to go outside of work,” said Allen. “I knew I wanted to do volunteering but I didn’t want to overexert myself.”
When meeting 4th grader Zane for the first time, Allen was “very, very excited” and could tell right away everything that they had in common:
“They really took their time to match us. Even though there’s a 30-year difference in our ages, you could tell they really took their time to match us on our shared interests. And I could tell that when meeting Zane back then.”
According to Zane, these common interests are the love of movies and technology, saying, “We are both Marvel nerds and love to talk about current technology and how it’s evolving.” Allen adds that they both have an active energy, too.
“I felt like I had had someone to look up to and rely on when needed,” said Zane on his initial thoughts of the program. “I would say the relationship Allen and I have developed is definitely what this program is all about: being a big brother/role model for those who need it.”
Switching from Site-based
When it came time to graduate from the School Buddies program, Zane and Allen talked about what they wanted to do next. They both loved the structure of the School Buddies program, as it gave them both something to look forward to in the week. Although they knew community-based wouldn’t be as structured as site-based was, they decided they wanted to continue their relationship.
“The switch between school buddies to community-based okay it felt weird not seeing him throughout the school day, but it was something I was able to get used to,” said Zane.
One way they adapted to their new roles was to add some of that structure from School Buddies into their new routine, meeting up after school or on weekends. However, they knew things would be different as they continued with Zane going into middle and high school.
Growing Together
Allen and Zane changed through the years, growing as people through lessons from life and each other. Allen stresses that the learning they went through wasn’t an overt “aha” moment where they suddenly understood something, rather it was a gradual process of impacting each other’s lives over the years.
Initially shyer and more reserved, Zane changed by becoming a more confident version of himself, and Allen watched as he took charge of his life. Described as a “doer,” Zane consistently pursues what he wants, becoming more confident in himself in the process. Most recently, Allen watched his Little Brother take the initiative and seek out job opportunities all on his own, adding to his pride in him.
“I’ve always been impressed with how willing he is to talk about the future and life things,” shared Allen. These changes in character transformed their mentorship.
“When you are a kid, you have that junior position where you get asked questions and you answer, but you don’t reciprocate. Now as he is older, I noticed that we moved from being mentor and mentee to being peers. He will ask me questions about my life too, how my family is doing,” said Allen. Zane has even started taking the initiative to plan times to hang out together, which Allen says shows how Zane and their relationship has grown.
Zane points out that Allen, who works in banking, has also taught him the practical lessons of “how to manage and save money.”
Allen has also gotten a lot out of their relationship, saying that it has taught him how to keep an open mind and be mindful of how different experiences shape a person.
“I learned the importance of not assuming people have the same experiences as you or your family. I think that remembering that has helped me in my own life, too,” said Allen.
And he believes he has had an impact on Zane’s life too, saying “I think I had an impact on Zane, just from being a consistent person available in his life.”
Zane would have to agree with this saying, “My life before meeting my Big was very messy as far as my home life went, but once I met my Big I started to notice that it wasn’t too late to change.”
Most Memorable Moments
With nine years of memories together, it must be hard to remember them all, but this match has a few favorites. According to Allen, they didn’t initially go on big trips, instead focusing on getting to know each other more. Later on, they started going on more adventures together.
One of Allen’s favorites was when Big Brothers Big Sisters had a few tickets for the Red Bull Air Race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. That was the pair’s first big trip out of Fort Wayne, and it was exciting getting to spend the whole day together. Allen also has fond memories of attending Zane’s band concerts who was a part of the marching band all four years of high school.
Zane has a long list of everything these two have done together over the years, including Allen teaching him how to ski, axe throwing, studying in the library, and “plenty of movies.” For Zane, some of his favorite memories are from their “countless hours in Chipotle.” This is one of Allen’s favorite memories with Zane too.
“Zane isn’t little like he used to be, but he would order a burrito way bigger than it seems like he should eat and demolish it, eat the whole thing. We always got a laugh out of that, just seeing how much he would try and stuff in his burritos,” said Allen.
Zane says that these times at Chipotle were the best times to just hang out and talk which is one reason he recommends the program to others.
“When you are in Big Brothers Big Sisters you are able to talk to them about things you might not be able to at home and get an outside perspective on current problems or just things in life,” said Zane.
Years of Changes
Knowing Zane from 4th grade to now graduated from high school, the pair have certainly changed from when they first met. However, Allen says that their relationship has only gotten better and has become “stronger than ever.” As their lives continue to change, neither see themselves growing apart anytime soon.
“I see the relationship that Allen and I have being lifelong,” said Zane.
“I hope to be in his life however he wants me to be and help him however he needs. What that looks like, I’m not sure,” added Allen. “We’ll do what we have always done: evolve with life.”
Zane wants his Big to know how thankful he is for all the support he has received from him over the years.
“I feel very supported by my big he is always there to listen to what I have to say and just all around a great person,” shared Zane. “Thank you for all you have done throughout the years and keep being great.”
Allen has advice for anyone out there who may be considering volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters:
“No matter how much time or effort you think you’re going to spend on this, just know that the impact on their life and how you will be rewarded are so much greater than what you think you’ll have to put in.”
Wanting to make a difference? Learn more about volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters here. Wanting to take the next step? Start the application process here.
