Big Brother Ross & Little Brother Martelo
Meet Big Brother Ross and Little Brother Martelo who have been matched for one year now!
Big Brother Ross and Little Brother Martelo first met in August 2023 through the Community-Based mentoring program.
Finding BBBS
In 2023, a school counselor recommended Martelo and his mom, Natena, enroll at Big Brothers Big Sisters. This advice was due to the many changes Martelo’s family was going through. His mom was just diagnosed with stage 3 oropharyngeal cancer, and Martelo was getting an adjusted education plan in school. To help her sons feel supported through all these changes and improve their mental health, Natena decided to sign them up for Big Brothers. Since Martelo’s brother Vincent got a Big first, Martelo was “beyond ready to meet his new friend.”
Meanwhile, Ross’ life was also filled with many changes. Ross was now ready to retire (which he did shortly) and the last of his 5 children was moving out. Ross decided this was how he wanted to kick off the next phase of his life.
Good Times with Good Friends
What could be more fun than snacking on wings, chowing down at Subway, or spending a day at the arcades? Both growing up loving games, the arcade is one of this duo’s favorite places to be (although Ross admits to not being good at the newer ones)! At Ross’ house, the two have lots of fun grilling burgers, looking after chickens, and petting Ross’ cat. Ross also has a sports car that Martelo, a fan of fast cars, likes being picked up in. Natena is thankful that this time away from his brothers gives him time to mature and grow individually.
“He just likes getting away from school and just be able to hang out with somebody that isn’t gonna judge him, and it’s two to three hours where he can just totally relax,” agreed Ross.
One of Ross’ favorite things about Martelo is his entertaining quips, making Ross laugh every time. These good friends always have a good time, with Martelo proclaiming, ‘This is the best day I’ve ever had,’ every time they meet up.
Rather than mentor and mentee, Ross and Martelo like to introduce each other as friends.
“I think the friend part is more important than the mentor because if you don’t solve the friend part your mentorship is gonna be like another parent policing actions instead of equal footing,” said Ross.
Mentoring Change
Both Ross and Martelo are more than happy with their match and have become better people because of each other!
This Big Brother has learned so much from his time with Martelo and even thinks he could be a better father if he knew then what he knows now. Having a Little Brother has taught him how to pick his battles, helping him grow in patience. He explained that with your own children you can be more unfiltered but being with someone else’s child has helped him slow down and use judgment.
“If I could have kids over again, I would be a different dad. I’d be a better dad because if I showed the same patience with them that I show to Martelo I would have been way better,” said Ross.
Being matched with Martelo makes Ross feel like he’s doing something good. Every time they get together, Martelo always thanks him and tries to be flexible about what activity they do. And whatever it is, he always proclaims it to be the best day ever.
“I’m probably getting more out of this than he is, honestly! I come out feeling so good because I know he’s enjoying himself,” said Ross.
Martelo has shown good improvements in the areas Ross has tried to help him with. After Natena asked Ross to talk to Martelo about the importance of brushing his teeth, Ross made him a chart to track his teeth brushings and got him a toothbrush with a timer in it. He also added the incentive of a trip to a Fort Wayne arcade if Martelo could make it to 90 teeth brushings.
In return, Martelo also tries to teach Ross how to be healthy. One instance that makes Ross laugh every time he remembers is one of their trips for Subway sandwiches.
“He’ll always put lettuce on it, and he looked at me and went, ‘You know, you have to take every opportunity you can to be healthy, okay?’” laughed Ross.
“The overall achievement with Martelo this year has got to be the amount of maturity he is presenting. He has decreased his impulsive behaviors and replaced them with logic,” said Natena who sees the outcomes of Ross’ effort. She and Ross have an open friendship where she feels comfortable telling him things and asking for help with Martelo.
The Future as Friends
As Martelo gets older, Ross wants to continue helping Martelo with his BIG goals! Already, Ross attends Martelo’s football games and supports his dream of being a pro footballer. He even decided to give Martelo a tackling dummy to help him practice. Ross’ own goal is to help “facilitate his dreams” no matter where they take him, along with getting “rid of some of the roadblocks” Martelo faces.
Natena also hopes their friendship continues, finding it to be a beneficial and life-changing program both for her sons and herself.
“I am so grateful for his presence in my son’s life, especially when I was needing to complete radiation therapy. He assisted my family during the dark time of me being in the hospital. He gave all three of my boys an outlet during that time. I am forever grateful,” said Natena who says Ross has been a great deal of relief to her.
The Value of Mentorship
Programs that help the youth get the care, support, and friendship they need to thrive in school and at home are essential to creating a healthier community! And since not everyone has someone to rely on, you can help your community through volunteering as a mentor.
“As much as family loves each other, they also can be the hardest on each other, right? The cool thing about Big Brothers Big Sisters is you get the best of that person,” said Ross. “They’re not competing for attention with Mom or Dad. They can just give you their full attention. I think it’s a fantastic program. I honestly wish I would have done it years ago now that I know about it.”
“I would recommend this program to any parent out there who is trying their hardest to ensure their children are well rounded, wanting their children to experience a friend and to give their children adventures,” said Natena.
And Ross has advice for anyone considering the program:
“When making a decision, you think of everything that could go wrong and the downfalls, but if you really wanna make that commitment, just jump in and go for it because it is so rewarding! Oh my, I never thought I’d be rewarded! I was thinking, ‘How can I help somebody else?’” said Ross.
Wanting to make a difference? Learn more about volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters here. Wanting to take the next step? Start the application process here.
