Big Sister Charlene and Little Sister Teyla
Almost three decades ago, Little Sister Teyla’s family moved from Michigan to Indiana. Her mom was working three jobs at the time, going to school to finish her degree, and caring for her three daughters. With a lot on her plate and three girls in need of time and attention, Teyla’s mom turned to Big Brothers Big Sisters to help her oldest, Teyla, get the enriching experiences she was craving. She herself had been a Little Sister in the 80s, and soon, her daughter was enrolled and waiting for a Big.
This decision confused seven-year-old Teyla. From her perspective, it seemed as though her mother didn’t want to hang out with her anymore. Her mom helped guide her expectations, letting her know that all she wanted was for Teyla to have a friend, and soon, she did.
First Impressions
Big Sister Charlene’s brother had been a First Mentor, and she had many fond memories of his Little hanging out with their family. Charlene decided to sign up for the program as well, realizing she had the time to give, and the two finally met in 1999 at a school performance Teyla participated in.
Charlene could tell right away that she and Teyla were going to get along. Soon, the two were adventuring together: mini golfing at Putt-Putt, attending BBBS Match Activities, and having movie nights. The match had loads of fun through sleepovers, baking, and even riding horses at Pokagon. This Big Sister also helped her Little attend a summer camp for riding horses through applying for a scholarship and paying for the rest!
Teyla was having such a good time that when Charlene asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up, Teyla said she wanted to be a Big Sister, too! This surprised Charlene, who explained that she didn’t get paid to take Teyla out around town and do activities. Her Little’s amazement made Charlene realize just how appreciated she was.
From Friends to Family
However, soon, this Little relied on her Big for more than just exciting outings.
Conflict at home created turmoil in Teyla’s life, and Charlene was one person she turned to during this time. The two passed a journal back and forth, somewhere for Teyla to safely share her thoughts and struggles and for Charlene to give advice and words of reassurance. Charlene also encouraged her Little to call her when she wanted to get together or talk.
“My biggest impact on my Little was providing her with a safe person and a safe place to be herself,” said Charlene.
For the young Teyla, this was exactly what she needed during the challenges she was facing, and Charlene became her lifeline. More than that, the two became family.
“Charlene was the backbone, helping me get through those tough times,” shared Teyla. “She was a friend; she was a sister.”
This Little joined her Big on family trips—with one particular trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, sticking out in their memories. She’d join in on family dinners, praying before their meals, and attending church. Charlene never thought much of this, just incorporating her Little into the everyday aspects of her life, including her family and her faith. However, these little moments changed Teyla’s future in big ways.
Faith through Trials
When Teyla was a freshman in high school, she and her family moved out of state, formally ending the match through Big Brothers Big Sisters. But this wasn’t the end of their friendship. The two remained in touch, with Charlene even traveling to be there for her Little’s graduation.
During Teyla’s high school years, different situations arose that she sought her Big Sister’s advice on. Charlene helped her Little by giving her resources and options, allowing Teyla to make informed decisions for herself. She continued to watch her Little mature from a distance, finding her own way in the world.
“She just has a light and an energy about her that is noticeable,” described Charlene. “I think different parts of the world have tried to drown that out, but she’s refused to let that happen.”
Through different trials and tribulations, Teyla worked hard and kept faith that things would get better—a mindset that she credits to her Big Sister. She healed in many ways over the years, with an inspiring perseverance.
“She has always been the person who would lead me back to faith to help me understand that I am loved by Jesus, that I have purpose, that life may be hard right now, but I’m going to be able to make it through. There’s hope,” Teyla explained. “She’s always catapulted my faith in Jesus Christ.”
Full Circle
Teyla, 35 years old, now lives in Virginia with her husband and their children. She works at a food and justice nonprofit and will finish her bachelor’s degree in religion and theology this fall. In the spring, she will continue her education through a master’s in social work, with goals to work with children in the foster care system.
The pair stay in touch through Facebook, phone calls, and even the occasional visit (Charlene attended Teyla’s wedding!). Her Little’s magnetic personality, her strength, and her outspoken faith—Charlene couldn’t be prouder of Teyla’s growth since they met.
“When you look back at that first year, she wanted to grow up and do the kind of things I was doing, which was helping other people,” said Charlene. “Now here we are, these decades later, and there are many aspects of Teyla, I can honestly say, where I would like to be just like her.”
“In some ways, that’s how the match has evolved and come full circle. She wanted to be a bit like me as a little girl, and now I want to be a bit like her as an adult,” she continued.
Teyla traces it all back to her Big Sister—her deep faith, pursuing social work, her desire to work with children and be of service to the community—knowing that she could “be Charlene to someone else.”
Teyla thanks her Big Sister for being the living example of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (NIV, 1 Cor. 13:4-7).
Forever Sisters
Despite living in different states for many years now, their sisterhood will never change, according to Teyla.
When they first met, the focus of their match was support through hardship and life challenges. After forging a strong support system and taking time to heal, Teyla is now in a much better place to handle difficulties that arise. Charlene notes that there were different areas of her Little’s life that they couldn’t celebrate before, but that has since evolved.
Simply put, the two have gone from “surviving life to celebrating life.”
Learn More
Both recommend the program to any adults looking to give their time to others.
“The greatest legacy that you can leave behind is the impact that you make in a child’s life,” said Teyla.
To those worried about the responsibility, Charlene believes that simply empowering her Littles to reach out when they need to has been so helpful in her match with Teyla, as well as in her current match.
Ready to learn more about volunteering? Visit our website or call 260-456-1600.
