Parents as Partners

Perhaps the most important partners Big Brothers Big Sisters relies on to bring mentors to youth are parents and guardians. Parents and guardians place their trust in our programs and partner with BBBS and mentors to give young people a network of support.

Two parents, Kardee and Quinekia, share their experience with BBBS and the difference they’ve seen it make in their children’s lives.

Today, if you ask Kardee what he thinks about Big Brothers Big Sisters, he praises the program for giving his children mentors, so it may be hard to believe that he was adamantly against signing his children up at first.

Quinekia first learned about the program through a school counselor who recommended that she sign up their daughter, Karmyla, for a School Buddy. The program seemed beneficial to her, giving her daughter someone to talk to and play games with at school.

However, when Quinekia explained the program to Kardee, he was alarmed. A stranger meeting with his child at school? He was very much against signing Karmyla up.

But Quinekia had already signed the papers!

It didn’t take long for Kardee to build trust in BBBS and his daughter’s School Buddy Patricia, especially seeing the smiles she would come home with and the way she would excitedly tell him about her day. Seven years later, Karmyla and Patricia are still matched through the Community-Based program, and the parents couldn’t be happier with their decision all those years ago.

“She really enjoyed it, and it brought her out of her shell a little bit,” said Quinekia about the School Buddies program.

With such a positive experience with their oldest daughter, Quinekia and Kardee decided to sign their other children up for Bigs, too, to gain the experiences and support mentors provide. Even something as simple as a BBBS basketball game became a special moment for his kids.

“Since the time she started Lunch Buddies, I fell in love with the program. I love what you do,” said Kardee about the agency. “I have nothing bad to say about you whatsoever.”

Over the years, Kardee grew in appreciation for not just his children’s mentors, but the staff members at the agency. The people he encountered were respectful and never judgmental, and most importantly, he could tell they genuinely cared for his children.

It was at a study table session that CEO Josette Rider first heard Quinekia and Kardee’s daughter Neveah’s poetry. She was moved in an instant and soon invited Neveah to share her work at the Women’s Champagne Brunch. This moment, along with other simple things like supporting his daughter’s bracelet-making business, let Kardee see the care given to youth in BBBS.

The organization drives his children to greatness, he believes, keeping in mind that every child has a different path to success. Young people in the Big Futures program are exposed to different college and career exploration opportunities and encouraged to think about their futures. The agency provides a quiet environment for study tables, where students can work on homework and get assistance from staff members. Littles have the chance to join in on college tours and job shadows. However, the Match Support Specialists navigate this thoughtfully, letting Littles know what their options are without pressuring them down a certain path.

If Kardee could sum up what BBBS and mentors provide in one word, it’s “encouragement.”

Staff, Bigs, and parents work together to encourage children to reach their full potential. This partnership has allowed Karmyla to get comfortable with different opportunities she has in her future.

“It puts a better smile on their face. They feel they have somebody else to talk to, so they feel more encouraged,” Kardee explained.

“It goes to that term that ‘it takes a village.’ There might be something you hear your parents say over and over again. Now she and her Miss Patricia or Neveah and her Miss Bree—now they hear the same thing from them. So, it puts it in their head to take the situation seriously or whatever the case may be,” he continued.

However, his children aren’t the only ones that benefit from the extra support. Kardee believes staff members and his daughters’ Bigs have given him a new perspective on different situations. Now that Karmyla is a senior, Karee was initially going through all the emotions of a father seeing his oldest growing up. Then, a staff member encouraged him to focus on how proud he is and look to the future happily.

He and Quinekia have an understanding with Patricia, who is basically family now. They feel free to exchange thoughts and advice on different situations. One moment sticks out to them, where Patricia explained that sometimes kids need to make their own mistakes in order to learn. That was exactly what Kardee says he needed to hear to take a step back and let them learn how to handle things on their own.

He knows that other parents may have the same mindset about BBBS as he once did, which he understands as someone who is still a protective parent. However, the care he sees the staff take with matches sets him at ease, especially when having to close a match.

Kardee points out that sometimes children feel alone in this world, and they need that extra mentor outside of the family. As someone with a son waiting to be matched, he also stresses the importance of men signing up to lead young men in the right direction.

To anyone considering joining the program:

“You never know which life you can touch…You could be that great influence. You can be that person to care. You can be that mentor to get a person’s life on the right track.”