Big Sister Debbie & Little Sister Mela
Meet Big Sister Debbie and Little Sister Mela who have been matched for 12 years now!
Big Sister Debbie and Little Sister Mela first met in April 2012 through the School Buddies program before continuing their sisterhood into Community-Based! Although their lives have gone in different directions, with Mela recently moving, these Sisters remain as close as ever, having built a lasting foundation of friendship over the past decade.
From the Start
This Big and Little Sister haven’t had the easiest journey together, but they’ve had a connection from the start.
After hearing about BBBS through a work presentation, Debbie’s husband immediately thought of his wife who had worked with children in some way most of her life: preschools, special education, and camp counselors. Because their own children and grandchildren didn’t live close, he thought this might be perfect for her to get involved with kids again. Who could have guessed this would instigate the decade-long adventure Debbie and Mela would soon embark on together?
Soon began their journey, starting with School Buddies. According to Debbie, she and the bubbly and joyful Mela “just clicked” and felt “connected,” similar in cheerful and bright personality.
“This was a person that I wanted to get to know and spend more time with,” Debbie had realized.
Finding Mela
Tuesdays quickly became their most anticipated day of the week. But a few months in, they would reach their first roadblock. One Tuesday when Debbie showed up to their weekly lunch, Mela was not there. Concerned, she reached out to Big Brothers Big Sisters and discovered that Mela was experiencing difficulties at home. This discovery sparked their decision to switch to Community-Based to see each other outside of school.
“I wanted to do that because that’s how connected I felt with this little girl,” said Debbie. “I was like ‘I have to find this child and be a part of her life.’ So that motivated me to take the next step.”
The two soon began their Community-Based experience, learning everything they liked to do together. Both big-time crafters and bakers, their outings were soon filled with glitter and glue and tasty treats. When not doing that, they could be found going out to eat and shopping!
Traditions Together
One thing that has kept Debbie and Mela close is their shared traditions and consistency.
“We always got together every week,” said Debbie. “That was real important. It was important to her, and it was important to me to have that connection over the years.”
One tradition they had was their book club. After seeing her Big Sister in several book clubs over the years, Mela wanted to have one with her Big too! This book club gave them lots to discuss and important lessons to learn.
“I always tried to pick books that I thought would be impactful for her as a young woman,” said Debbie. Their readings included tales of determination, perseverance, hardship, and triumph. Some of these stories impacted Mela enough for her to suggest them to her teachers for the class.
Debbie and Mela also had their own special Christmas traditions!
“At Christmas time, we would bake bread and make candy and cookies for all of her family. We would decorate the boxes that they went into and that took, you know, weeks to do. I would put things in the freezer, and we’d work on our boxes, and we did projects like that for gifts. I think because we were working together, those are really fond memories,” Debbie explained.
Their traditions like celebrating birthdays together and going to the 3 Rivers Fest have kept them a part of each other’s lives even when distance has become a bigger factor. Although Mela has moved, she still attended the 3 Rivers Fest with her Big Sister this past summer and got her signature stake of potatoes, strawberry lemonade, and chocolate-covered strawberry.
Sisterly Support
Matched for 12 years, it is no wonder they consider each other like family. Debbie has seen Mela grow up from 7 to 20 years old and reminisces about how fun it was to see a lot of Mela’s firsts of childhood like the “magical” first time she tried a buckeye.
“She has met all of my children and most of my grandchildren, and she’s been included in family outings,” said Debbie. Some of these family outings took place at Debbie’s parents’ house on the lake which might have been Mela’s first time swimming in a lake. Here, Mela got to know her Big’s parents too.
Being like family, this pair have supported each other through hardships even when traveling and moving. When Mela found out her father passed away, her Big Sister was one of the people she turned to when distraught. Debbie remained a listening ear if Mela wanted to talk about him, and says she continues to be, even now.
After both of Debbie’s parents passed away, Mela supported her too and understood her grief.
“She was really sad with me through that,” said Debbie, showing the familial connection they formed over the years.
BIG Impact
Being consistent, reliable, and someone you can count on—Debbie tries to embody what it takes to be a mentor. Throughout their 12 years of knowing each other, she exemplifies what good relationships are about and how to be a friend. But Mela has been an example to her Big too.
Debbie finds herself in awe of her “determined, tenacious, and kind” Little Sister. Determined and a hard worker, there is nothing her Little can’t do if she puts her mind to it, leaving Debbie amazed and admiring. Never one to say no to tough work or let a setback bring her down, this Little inspires her Big with how she “perseveres over and over again.”
“I’ve never seen this young woman give up on anything, and she has a very kind heart,” said Debbie. “So, I would say that definitely has impacted me and how I look at life and get through life.”
Moreover, having a Little has expanded Debbie’s worldview, showing her a world that was different from her own. With a better understanding that everyone’s “typical” is different, she can approach life more sensitive of that.
“I mean, there’s a lot that has happened. She has had a tough life. Nothing has been easy, but I am just glad that I could be a part of her life and still am,” said Debbie. “That’s my goal just to continue to stay in contact with her and when she is in town to see her.”
Be a Big!
As someone whose life has changed by having a Little, Debbie will be the first to tell you why you should consider joining Big Brothers Big Sisters too. She especially recommends the School Buddy program, a great way to start out mentoring because of the easy environment and lower commitment level.
“Oh, my gosh! You wouldn’t regret it. Putting such good energy into a young person’s life that could use it!” she exclaimed.
Will you take the challenge of becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister? Do you know someone who would be a great mentor? Discover how you can make all the difference to a child:
Learn more about volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters here. Wanting to take the next step? Start the application process here.
